Humble

My father was a wise man, and above that he was a kind man. His wisdom and kindness reflected in all aspects of his life, he lived those virtues out with his actions and his words. When he spoke, we listened, his words were worth more than gold.

A piece of treasure he made sure we inherited was the phrase ‘no matter what, be humble.’

No matter what, be humble.

This five word phrase was repeated to us again and again throughout the years we were blessed to spend with him.

When I was first handed the phrase, I was a child.

As a child, my thinking was simple and straightforward. ‘Papa says to be humble, that means I don’t be proud, I don’t show off.’ It meant knowing it’s wrong to flaunt my sticker collection, or do a cartwheel in front of the other kids who couldn’t do a cartwheel.

As a young teen, when puberty rewired my brain and insecurities manifested, my take on humility evolved. During that phase of life, I thought that being humble meant discarding my self-worth, and valuing everyone and everything over myself. I thought humility was the antonym for confidence. In real life that looked like ‘I shouldn’t take centre stage for the performance, I’m a terrible dancer,’ ‘I shouldn’t raise my hand to answer teacher’s question, because why do I think I’m right?’

At that time, I thought that self-depreciation was peak humility. If I carried on down that road, it would lead me to the conclusion that removing myself from Earth would be my greatest contribution. Clearly there was a huge flaw in that concept of humility so I had to rethink it.

A recent epiphany, courtesy of slower days and steadfast love, has lead me to redefine what humility means to me.

Being humble no longer means thinking less of myself, it means thinking of myself less. It is acknowledging that my presence on Earth is not a solo act, but a small and necessary voice that contributes to the harmony of a choir.

Humility is acknowledging both my strengths and my flaws- accepting that I am powerful, yet often powerless; that I have learned much, yet still have so much more to learn.

It is the yin and yang balance between confidence and curiosity, between knowing my worth and remembering that I am part of something far greater than myself.

This definition of being humble has been liberating. It unshackles me from the need to be perfect, and unbinds me from the pits of self-loathing. It teaches me to be gentle with everyone around me, the people, the animals, the trees, for we are all earthlings, worthy of living.

love,

hy.